Cohousing - A brilliant concept whose time has come?

Happy New Year 

Firstly I would like to wish readers of this blog a happy new year (unless of course you read this in say June or July in which case I hope the year is going well for you).



I wanted to start 2017 with a post that teemed with positivity and good news after the fairly grim world news of 2016. This particular piece of good news literally turned up on my doorstep a few weeks ago when diggers started preparatory work for a cohousing project sited at the end of my garden.No, diggers at the end of my garden is not the good news story, but cohousing is! Although some of you will doubtless know about cohousing, I knew nothing until a cohousing group purchased the land near me and started talking to the local community about their plans. I found their vision and plans exciting, bold, hopeful and inspiring. Cohousing, in principle, appears to provide a template for living that answers many of the troubling questions we may have as we approach the more senior phase of our lives although as a concept it is applicable to all ages.

Good news but let's get the not so good stuff out the way first  

So let's start with the not so good stuff before moving on to extremely positive stuff. This blog started life as a way for me to reflect on retirement and to look at the opportunities and challenges that retirement brings. Retirement is also a time when one takes stock, looking back at one's accomplishments and disappointments and also looking to the future and anticipating what may be in store. 

This is when things can look decidedly less rosy. I shall use my dear old mum as an example. When she and my dad were in their early 60's they moved to be near me and my family. They were fairly fit, solvent and looking forward to enjoying the opportunities of retirement and being doting grandparents. That was their "here and now" but what would happen if one of them was left alone, became ill, got dementia, needed care? There were no plans for these scenarios, they were simply too difficult and uncomfortable to contemplate and in the place of thought out plans my parents' refrain was one familiar to others I'm sure; "I never want to go into a retirement home." That was it. They would never go in a home, no matter what, and I must never try and put them in a home. Plans A,B and C. End of story. I suppose you would call it denial.

Then in 2007 my dad died and my mother quickly developed a mixture of dementia and psychotic episodes. She made increasingly self defeating decisions such as moving to a retirement bungalow out of town that isolated here from friends, family and neighbours. I'll spare the depressing details but her dementia plus increasing psychosis meant that after two enforced stays in hospital I was told that my mother needed to be in residential care; she was not safe to be on her own any longer. I found a home, sold her house to pay for it and then spent 4 years watching the grim sight of my mother become someone I barely recognised and in the process not being cared for as she should have been until I finally found a care home that treated my mum with respect and dignity. None of this, of course, was in her basic plan but because there were few alternatives for my parents' generation my mum's story is one common to many elderly people. 

So now it's the turn of my generation to face the future; what plans will we put in place for that time when we can no longer live in the way that we used to? What are our choices? Some will actively choose to go into residential care and if you have enough money that could be a fantastic choice. Yet many of us have seen our own parents depressed, isolated or being poorly looked after in very expensive care homes. Some like retirement villages and sheltered housing, great for some but usually owned and controlled by companies and not the residents. We also know the care system (in the U.K. at least) is not just creaking but falling apart at the seams so even care in one's own home is increasingly problematic.  We are a generation where many of our children are living in far flung locations so the cosy idea of living as wise grandparents in a three generation extended family is just not going to happen for most of us. So not too many great choices there for us. We also know, unlike our parents, that generally we will live longer lives. The post second world war generations have not been ones to simply put up with the poor choices that have been handed down to them. They have been used to creating their own destinies and coming up with new solutions and now as we collectively approach the more elderly phases of our lives it becomes clear that if we don't like the choices on offer, if we want to stay in control of our lives, then we have to find and create alternatives for ourselves. I believe that one such alternative could be the expansion of co-housing. 


What is Cohousing?

I pointed out at the start that I only found out about co-housing because a co-housing group purchased a big plot of land at the end of my garden a couple of years ago. Immediately this group started to engage with the local community; sharing their plans and ideals, inviting our comments and even inviting interested parties to consider joining them. So what is co-housing? The following is a potted description from the website for the UK Cohousing Network:

" Cohousing in a nutshell

Cohousing communities are created and run by their residents. Each household has a self-contained, private home but residents come together to manage their community and share activities. Cohousing is a way of combating the alienation and isolation many experience today, recreating the neighbourly support of the past. This can happen anywhere, in your street or starting a new community using empty homes or building new."

There you have it. Housing developments designed by those who will live there, independent housing units with some shared communal facilities plus integration into a community based on the values of co-operation, sharing and mutual support. Although cohousing is not just for older people it does seem like an ideal way for older people to plan a different, shared way of living that could avoid the isolation and lack of support experienced by many older people up until now.For many it could also provide an alternative to the feared "ending up in a retirement home."

The group that have started developing the land near me (Cannock Mill Cohousing) have members that are 40+ years of age and their vision is one of independent living within a development where there will be shared spaces and a commitment to be part of a sharing community that will support one another. The members of the group have helped plan what the development will look like and an architect amongst them has designed the houses with input from the whole group. There is a commitment to sustainable development and they want to involve their new neighbours. The group will do things together, look out for one another and it seems inconceivable that any of the members will have to grow old in isolation and without proper care.  Never having heard of co-housing until this group bought the land, I thought this was a brilliant concept and a bold design for living. I also thought it was a new concept. Not so. When I looked into it I realised that co-housing has been a movement that took off in Denmark in the 1960's and has been growing for many years in the USA.  Then a couple of weeks ago there was a BBC news item about the UK's first women only senior co-housing project.

Some of the 26 women from the High Barnet group

26 women had finally moved into their new development In High Barnet. It was the U.K.'s first senior all female cohousing development. It had been many years in the planning but they had achieved their dream. What a powerful sight it was seeing those women, in control of their lives, moving into accommodation designed by themselves, all looking forward to new adventures whilst supporting each other. I know it's not a something that everyone would want but it does seem such an empowering and positive way forward.

Having seen the group of women realising their dream a few weeks ago and how excited and joyful they were to be doing it together and the building work going on at the bottom of my garden makes me convinced that co-housing is an idea who's time has definitely come.

The diggers have started ground works

Cannock Mill is the white building and will be the shared space for the community

It offers the prospect of looking to the future with confidence and joy instead of fear and trepidation. Hopefully as the knowledge of co-housing increases it will become easier for groups of people to set up such schemes and for people to join these schemes.

The group setting up near me are called "Cannock Mill Cohousing"  and I will finish this post by letting them speak for themselves. They do it so much more eloquently than me.

Why cohousing?

The simple answer is because it enables a caring, sharing way of life that eliminates the social isolation that threatens many today, especially in later life, and recreates the neighbourly support of the past.

In cohousing, we know our neighbours and look out for each other; we choose as much privacy or as much socialising as we want; we decide collectively what shared facilities we want to build — a common house where we can cook and eat together, say twice a week, where there will also be guest rooms, a workshop, library, laundry, space for music … dancing … a gym … the possibilities are endless.  We can share gardening, cars, skills, carers in old age — with common facilities and functions jointly owned and run by us.

As a cohousing group we do not have any central religious or social agenda, we are just individuals who see the benefits of an intentional community.  We have agreed, however, that we all aim for maximum eco-efficiency: low energy homes, water efficiency, solar power generation, growing fruit and veg — in other words ‘living lightly’. We will also integrate with and contribute to the wider community in Colchester.

© 2016 Copyright Cannock Mill Cohousing Colchester Ltd.

And finally......

If that's not a positive message to start a new year I don't know what is!  Please visit the two linked websites if you want to find out more. For American readers interested in finding out more try out this website.

I would love to know what people think about cohousing or maybe you already have experience of it.  Either way leave a comment and and if you too think it's a great idea, spread the word!

My mate alcohol.The end of the beautiful relationship? (a second but different post about alcohol)

Breaking up is hard to do

It's hard enough ending a meaningful relationship, harder still when it's  a relationship with a friend with whom you have had such good times over the years.  In my case this friend entered my life for the first time when I was just five.  I was at a wedding in Holland and my German uncles felt it was a good idea to introduce me to champagne. I think I liked it. That was a fleeting encounter and our meetings were infrequent over the next ten years.  Then I became a teenager and our friendship blossomed. Since that time, from the age 16 or 17, my friend has been a more or less constant companion.  That means our friendship has been pretty solid for the past 44 years. Up until recently that is. The cracks in our friendship are beginning to show. My trusted old friend may have to be shown the door and I feel torn.

Old friends reflecting on a long and complex relationship in Dublin

Teenage kicks

Although I had enjoyed a few tastes of wine and beer growing up it was during the teenage years that I realised that alcohol and I were  going to be a good friends. As a nervy, anxious teen I remember my new friend getting me through a few awkward first dates.There was one night in particular.

I was 17 years old and a gorgeous girl (let's call her Sue) had agreed to go with me to a party I had been invited to.  She looked great, lovely clothes, but I had a jacket on that was too big for me (my mum was still buying my clothes at this point and thought I would "grow into" my new jacket).  I was nervous and hardly spoke on the bus journey to the party.  We arrived. The other boys were eyeing up Sue like adolescent stags posturing and positioning themselves to take advantage of any nervousness and indecision on my part.  The horror of teenage mating rituals.  I knew what I was supposed to do; put my arms around her, dance with her, send out an unmistakable message to the stalking males. But I was shy and nervous around girls at that age and the self doubt crept in; if put my arm around her would she shriek in horror and revulsion and everyone at the party howl in derision at my mistaken idea that she could be remotely interested in me? And yet, if I did nothing, then I would surely lose Sue to one of the testosterone boys and down that path lay humiliation and what I was convinced would be an eternity of singledom. 

At that moment my friend stepped in. He took the form of a bottle of beer, I drank deeply then reached for a second.  I reached in my pocket for that other friend (long since dismissed) "the French Cigarette." I puffed at the cigarette and held the bottle.  I felt transformed.  I was no longer a boy. I was an all smoking all drinking man!  I felt the waves of fear and anxiety receding. The beach of teenage confidence revealed itself and shimmered through the smoke of my Gauloise. I stepped into the rock pools of beery confidence. My slightly befuddled brain spoke to me, "You look cool John, she wants you,what are you waiting for."

What a plonker I was! Of course I didn't look cool, but what was important was that I felt cool. I also felt relaxed and started chatting to Sue and joking around.  I was confident and enjoying myself.  I danced and chatted with Sue and even got a kiss.  The stags suddenly all looked like miniature Bambis and I was the stag of the loch (funny how alcohol affects self perception isn't it?)

One beer and I'm alpha stag

I was in heaven and in my mind the thing that had made this possible was my friend; alcohol.


 Celebration Time

During those next 40 years we have experienced the best of times together and the worst.  We have celebrated weddings, christenings, landmark birthdays and even the false dawn that was a Labour victory in 1997. We've met some great people together, had some crazy parties  and survived some awkward situations. With such a shared history why would I even be considering saying goodbye to such a friend?

 Should he stay or should he go? 

Well, the fact is, my friend is simply not as much fun as he used to be. Let me explain. In the good old days at Warwick University or in the many Youngs pubs of Wandsworth and Putney where I grew up, we would go out and have mighty craic as the Irish would say.  Drinking all manner of wonderfully exotic beers and lagers from around the world, I would loosen up, enjoy myself, lose my inhibitions, do and say things I would not normally do and say and then after a few hours sleep, wake up, shake off the mildest of hangovers and get on with the day.  What pals we were. It was a great relationship. Loads of fun and pleasure for what seemed like just the scantiest of paybacks. Even better, this friend was one that was freely available, enjoyed by many of the adults around me and almost portrayed as the birthright of any decent English man or woman. After all Churchill kept the Brits going by giving speeches fuelled by brandy and champagne. Would it be hyperbole to say my friend helped win the war?

Churchill was a Great Briton and a known heavy drinker - often drinking  a couple of bottles of champagne every day but at the same time he abhorred drunkenness!

A well known exchange between Churchill and Lady Astor:

"You, Mr Churchill, are drunk."

"And you, Lady Astor, are ugly. But I shall be sober in the morning."

 
And so it continued, social events, gatherings, end of term parties; everything seemed a bit easier and more chilled with a drink. This is probably something that many people can relate to; the role drink plays in lowering our anxiety, reducing our inhibitions and releasing our playful side. If things had stayed like that it would have been lovely and my friend would be one I'd be happy to have stick around for ever. 

Reflecting yet again - but that Dusseldorf Alt does taste good!

 
The trouble is this friendship started to change.  It metamorphosed from a genial companion into a leather clad dominatrix.  It started to suggest I could never have a good time unless he was around.  He became a control freak with borderline personality disorder; "Oh, so you were going to go to that christening without me were you. Oh and using the old "I've got to drive" excuse? You know you'll need me later when you're stuck with those tedious relatives.  And when people expect you to be funny? What's your plan then eh? Oh and how are you going to deal with social anxiety?" So you book a taxi and give in.  But even more insidious is the way this friend started to make me feel physically. The mild hangover payoff of my twenties becomes three days of feeling exhausted, lacking energy and seeking the most carb filled, fatty snacks imaginable.  In short the payoff becomes grim and no longer worth the brief moments of fun.



On the other hand there are times when the friendship still feels good. Retired, my friend and I still enjoy cosy evenings in together, a couple of glasses of rich Rioja watching a great film and that's fine, but evenings out? At 61 even a few beers down the pub can leave me feeling grotty the next day. My poor old retired body just can't process my old friend like it used to. This becomes mightily apparent when I have my two or three days a week without my friend. When this happens I invariably sleep better and wake up with more energy.  In short my friend is not really giving me much these days.  The payoff is no longer working to my advantage. 

In January both this year and last, I tried the "dry January" challenge. I lost weight, blood pressure went down and I felt great.  True I had to avoid pubs (which I love) and eating out in restaurants was hard without wine. I will do the same during the January 2107 but my dilemma for the year and onwards will be; do I say goodbye to my friend once and for all or do I say, "Look, I've grown up and it's not really appropriate to hang out with you all the time? We can meet up for meals now and then, but the days of partying are over." 

Hey that's no way to say goodbye

So it's either thanks pal but good bye for ever or thanks pal we are going to be seeing a lot less of each other.

If my friend and I can accept a change in the frequency of our encounters  maybe it's not so much an end to a relationship but about changing the terms of that relationship. It may be that we have related to each other in such a way over such a long time that the only way is a complete break. That is what I have to decide in the coming year. Being older and with my friend taking an increasing toll on physical health as you get older now is the time for a re-evaluation.  

But hey ho, right now it's coming up to Christmas and my friend is in great demand. He's suggesting a night out with old chums in London tomorrow.  What a tempting offer.  December is not the time to break up with my friend; a week before Christmas, he'll be devastated!

Great - my "friend" has just reminded me that we have to go and do the big Christmas shop before Going to London and he's only gone and put gin at the top of the list. What a rascal he is!

Feliz Navidad Everyone
Here's hoping 2017 is going to be better for the world than 2016 

First rule of retirement- Do the things you love to do!

Part of the abbey ruins at Leiston

 Drama in the Suffolk Countryside

A relatively short post this week because life has suddenly become very busy.  Last weekend I went up to Leiston Abbey in Suffolk and took part in a weekend arts course for the siblings of children with special needs.  The lovely people at Pro Corda asked me along to do some drama work with a small group of 9 to 13 year olds based on the story of Aladdin.  Not having worked with young people since July, I had forgotten how much energy and enthusiasm they have and how infectious that enthusiasm can be and also how tiring it can be trying to keep up with them!


In short I had a great time but it was exhausting but exhausting in a good way.  I had ideas but those youngsters had better ones, I had a few things planned but they wanted to do that and more.  I could barely keep up!  It reminded me how privileged  anyone who has the opportunity to work with young people is.  They are bursting with ideas and doing drama with youngsters is just so much fun because young people instinctively want to explore and create. Drama and the arts offer the perfect pathways to do both.

The Pro Corda site including the fantastic thatched barn

I had two ladies helping me who also acted as pastoral staff and it was great to see how they engaged with both the youngsters and the drama. The group also took part in singing with Andrew Quartermain who runs Pro Corda and Sarah Francis who did set design with the group.  We put together a show in little over one and half days and also managed to pack in a party, talent show and watch a film. I also managed to find an hour for myself where I just roamed the leafy pathways around the abbey, took in the crisp, bright Suffolk scenery and realised I needed to get out to the countryside more often.

Our magic carpet created by the youngsters and Sarah

And what of poor old me? How did I cope? The most difficult thing was being that person who stands up and leads who has to generate interest and enthusiasm amongst a group of young people, in other words being a teacher again. There was the initial shock to the system but then I was pleasantly surprised how easily I got back into working with the group.  After a while it's not about leading, it becomes about collaborating, helping young people to find different ways to express character and narrative.  What I particularly like about working with young people is their inventiveness and this group were very inventive believe me.

The experience of last weekend demonstrated to me that my drama teaching was one of the most rewarding parts of  my role in school prior to retirement. It is one of the aspects of my work that I  will continue with and whether it's at Pro Corda or my local drama group, working with young people is a very life affirming and privileged thing to be able to do.  There is a lot that us more mature folk can offer the young but there is also a huge amount that they can show and offer us. 

The Lady Chapel- brought back to life from the ruins

For me the experience of last weekend  highlighted the most positive aspect of retirement, namely the opportunity to pick and choose what you do, when, for how much time and with whom.

On that basis retirement is one of the more rewarding events in my life; I just wish I could have done it thirty years ago.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's off to work we go!

The phoenix hobbles about

 
This blog was supposed to be about the joys of retirement.  John the phoenix of retirement arising from the ashes of salaried servitude, spreading his wings and suddenly becoming a renaissance man; changing the face of modern literature in the morning, becoming multi-lingual over lunch (si, mon amie, das ist richtig!) creating canvases of unimaginable beauty and translucence in the afternoon whilst simultaneously sculpting his body into an athletic form that Usain Bolt could only dream of and then winding down by crafting the odd song or poem before a period of mindfulness and spirituality that would bring shafts of enlightenment both to himself and the world.  If only.... The truth is that my lofty goals have not quite been realised.  Yes, I have started a Spanish class and I have been on my exercise bike now and then but that's about it. 

Hopes and fears 

 

The main thing is, and being serious now, I have enjoyed the freedom that retirement brings. I have taken advantage of this  freedom, like many other retirees, to do the things I couldn't really do whilst working full time. It has been a fantastic and liberating experience. However, I recall that this time last year the prospect of retirement slightly frightened me. Where would I get the social interaction, the buzz of being called upon to sort problems, the sense of purpose that work provided?  My fears were such that I had put in place all sorts of ideas and plans that I hoped would generate the odd bit of work. I had signed up to do some occasional work at one school, registered at an agency for private tutors and had told an educational provider in Suffolk that I would like to work with them at some vague point in the future. Then I retired. It was unexpectedly wonderful.  My fears were unfounded.  I had plenty of activities and ventures to get stuck into and I started my volunteering which helped me discover a new sense of purpose and meaning.  Throughout September and October I heard nothing about me doing any work but I was more than happy.  I had plenty to get on with and I did not need work financially.

That wasn't supposed to happen

 
Then about two weeks ago something strange happened; all of my paid work contingency plans materialised around the same time.  

The school where I had worked asked if I could come in for the day and cover a teacher.  That was last Thursday. Lovely, one day of work every few months would hardly be a heavy demand on my time. At the same time some provisionally discussed work teaching drama in Suffolk became a reality.  The trouble was they wanted me to start this December- the next two weekends in fact. This was now looking like "being at work" again. In addition someone approached me to start private tutoring of her son through a site that I had forgotten I had registered on as a tutor. Finally a school I had hoped to work for, offered me some tutoring with them. I was caught unawares. What was I going to do?  How was I going to fit all this in, did I want to fit it all in?
 

Going back to where I'd worked

 

Well I did do the day back at the old school.  To be fair I had said that I would be happy to do the odd day of cover. The interesting thing for me was how dislocating that experience was.  Going back to a place where I had been deputy headteacher and now being a supply teacher took a bit of getting used to.  As one cheeky lad put it, "You don't work here any more, so you can't tell me off." Ah, the familiar but inaccurate refrain repeated to so many supply teachers.  But it was not just that.  Brilliant though it was seeing the students and staff, something didn't feel quite right. I'd left and come back but no longer belonged in the same way. I had become the equivalent of a tourist and that gave the day an interesting twist.  I started to see things in a different way both positive and negative.  I was the outsider looking in rather than the insider projecting out. I enjoyed the day but I also missed my freedom and it really hit me how much work completely dominates many people's lives.  I was only working for one day but I couldn't escape the feeling that I was tied to someone else's priorities and timetable for that day.  I admit I did go home and appreciated all over again how liberating it would be to wake up the next day and be answerable to no-one but myself as to how I would spend that next day.

An exciting new venture

 

So what about these coming weekends?  Well strangely these feel very different.  As a supply teacher you have to do what's asked of you with no choice. You could be teaching any subject to any age and you have little control over what you are expected to deliver. The coming weekends are different.  I have been asked to lead drama sessions to groups of students, linking in with other creative professionals to produce a mini production around the story of Aladdin. I am firmly back in control over what I prepare and what I will present to the students. The great thing about creative subjects is that the students will bring their ideas and creativity to the weekend so I may control the input but the output will be dependent on what we all contribute and the students will have a large element of control in this.  As a result, the coming weekends will not, I am sure, feel like regular days at work. The lack of restriction, the freedom, the unknown outcomes, this is not the usual stuff of regular work days. People coming together, exploring, creating, laughing and developing is how I dreamed education would be.  It will be exhausting but I am sure it will also be exhilarating and fun.  I will be working with new people in a different environment free of the curricular and assessment restraints that now so often stifle real learning and creativity in many schools. In short, working in a way I'd hoped to when I first became a teacher. I can't wait.  

The other work; tutoring, both one to one and in another school, I have declined. I have enough for now. I will do the odd day of supply at my old school if they want me and as long as I enjoy it. I do hope to become further involved  in the weekend drama work over the next year. For me that will be about attaining what I had always hoped for; doing something I really enjoy, something I would choose to do in my spare time, with people I respect and in a way that still leaves me plenty of time for the other important activities and people in my life. As these weekends will be a completely new venture for me I shall report back next week.

Dream scenario? 

So yes, on a small scale, I am going back to work, but in a way that I had always dreamed of; on my terms,doing things I really enjoy and gain satisfaction from and still with plenty of time to pursue my other interests. I feel fortunate.

Thanks for reading.
 

The Holy Trinity of Retirement- Oh Sing Choir of Angels

Bruce will have to wait- sorry Boss

I know I said I would get to the second part of my Springsteen story but it will have to wait as I have to report on last weekend and some reflections I want to share based on that weekend and these first few months of retirement (or as I now like to call it, using the far more positive Spanish word, "La Jubilacion").

Explain the title please!

Let's start with the title- the Holy Trinity of La Jubilacion.  It's true that I am really enjoying life after my salaried slavery and I have my Holy Trinity to thank for that. It seems to me that three things have to be in place for people to enjoy a happy and vibrant Jubilacion. You can probably guess these three amigos. They are:

1  Money- ie a decent pension and some savings
2  Interests/Activities/Projects/Work of one's choosing
3  People to interact with

Of course each one of these in the Holy Trinity of happy Jubilacion is subjective and open to interpretation; how much is a "decent" pension, how many people does one need to interact with and so on. I am not going to go into the detail now, I just want to indicate that in my experience these are the three crucial components and that I am fortunate enough to have these in place and that having these things in place has made my first few months of Jubilacion varied and rewarding. I am also very aware that not everyone who retires is lucky enough to have all three things in place at the same time. In particular isolation is a real threat to the well-being of many retirees and a subject deserving of its own post. So that is for a later date.

The respectable face of a staff choir weekend-all little angels

For now I want to focus on the positive side of interacting which often combines with the second key element of the Holy Trinity; namely interests and activities.  

Last weekend - Oh Sing Choir of Angels
 
Whilst working at my last school I became involved in a staff choir.  Last year we went away for a weekend in Suffolk; had input from an amazing musician and vocal coach and sang at a church carol concert attended by the whole school community and parents. Lovely, but that was part and parcel of being at work. It was in the past and unfortunately retirement can mean losing some positive aspects of work as well as the negatives.  Then came an invitation,"We are off to Suffolk for another choir weekend, why not join us?"  Would it be appropriate to go back and join my former colleagues for a weekend singing? Yes. Would I be the outsider, the colleague that couldn't let go? No, of course not. It would be great to see old colleagues, the setting was away from the school and most importantly the wine would be flowing. (If by any chance parents of children attending the school are reading this let me point out that no one drank excessively or disgraced either themselves or the school- and I say that with a straight face and I supply pictures as proof)

I kept telling them- all these things are bad for you!

 It was a lovely weekend; catching up with ex colleagues and doing something we all love- singing.  I have to put in a big mention here to Andrew Quartermain and his team at Pro Corda.  Based at Leiston Abbey, Pro Corda is not only a music training centre for some brilliant chamber musicians, it also runs courses for children with special needs, for adults learning or improving piano and many other activities based around creativity in music and other art forms.




The weekend of singing, socialising and planning how I will fit in with their rehearsals back at school, reminded me how important this type of contact is in retirement.  Whilst at work we have a ready made source of contacts and interaction but in retirement one has to work at either maintaining networks or creating new ones.  It also reminded me how much I enjoy singing.  It seems that whenever people get together and sing; laughter, fun and real connections within the group spontaneously emerge. Singing takes us away from the everyday and reminds us that we are capable of being part of something wonderful and uplifting ( well maybe after a few more rehearsals). It is certainly something I will add to my list of things in which to become more involved. 

Yeh- that's right, the fat old  bloke on the right is me

The choir of angels from Kingswode Hoe at the amazing Leiston Abbey

Non, je ne regrete rien

Now after all this gushing about seeing old colleagues and singing, you might think there could be regrets about leaving my job, my career. Not at all. The job carried too many restrictions.  It left little time to pursue my other interests and left me sometimes stressed and exhausted.  Yes, I miss aspects of my work, but in totality, leaving full-time work counts as one of the best decisions I have ever made.  One thing I did miss though was teaching drama and I am really pleased that the lovely people at Pro Corda have asked me to join them as a drama teacher on some upcoming weekends, working with both young people with special needs and then with the siblings of these youngsters.  Perfect- doing something I love in a wonderful Suffolk setting with some talented colleagues in a time-limited burst.

Being put through our vocal paces by Andrew at Pro Corda

Before my retirement I was worried that I would miss work, feel a bit cut off from people and not find enough intellectual and creative challenges.  I needn't have worried. Through a mixture of luck and planning I am taking part in activities that stimulate, challenge and give me real pleasure and purpose but I also now have the freedom to organise my days as I wish.

It was fantastic spending the weekend singing with my ex colleagues. That little choir of angels. Even better was not having to go to work at 8 am the next day. My holy trinity of retirement is thus far looking out for me very well indeed.

                      Springsteen next, I promise.

Important Addendum- I published this post yesterday and in the middle of the night woke with a rasping cough and an aching knee.Then it hit me.  The Holy Trinity of retirement was wrong.  There was another key element; health. How could I have forgotten that?  In hindsight I should have gone for the four horsemen of retirement: Financial security, Interests/activities, people to interact with and reasonably good mental and physical health. Apologies.